TV & Radio Broadcast Blooper Audio 4Balls.mp3 A 1971 broadcast of what to expect when partying during Presidential inaugurations. $ Purchase ABCCC.mp3 When ABC radio isn't quite up to snuff on where it is and what it's doing. $ Purchase ATaleOfTwoIntros.mp3 Orson Welles had attitude, alright, but rarely as evident as here, when he loses his "patience" during a broadcast intro to "The Mercury Theatre On-The-Air" and its dramatization of "A Tale of Two Cities". $ Purchase AWhaleThatSleepsWithTheFishes.mp3 It's evident the broadcaster's familiar with New York City ; ) . $ Purchase BedsheetAtmosphericControl.mp3 I tried this once and it worked, but my wife informed me of more creative areas with which to apply my instrument. $ Purchase DrinkingPee.mp3 And you thought it was tea & vodka. $ Purchase Eisenhower&KaiserWith&WithoutNuts.mp3 Society was a bit robotic during this era, save for the Rock & Roll fans in their midst, whom one must imagine were NOT among the folks referred to in this bit since Glam rock had not yet been invented. $ Purchase FactsGainImpotence.mp3 And remember - if you dress impotent, you'll feel impotent. $ Purchase FrozenFoodPeckers.mp3 If it congeals, you ain't impotent. $ Purchase Hand-In-Your-HoleSize.mp3 Now THAT'S a specey-spicey pizza pie! $ Purchase HeadlineEdition530515.mp3 One of the best broadcast bloopers of all time - ABC Radio's Headline Edition TRIES to broadcast the news, but doesn't - and when it gives itself a pat on the back for it, it's just too much for the announcer, let alone the anchorman, to take. $ Purchase HopeCooksHisCock.mp3 We ain't talking fried chicken, either. "Bob" must have had some difficulties with his cue cards. $ Purchase HowdyDoodyBloopy.mp3 A beloved bit from the old "Howdy Doody" show. This is why kids shows get taped these days. $ Purchase Kentunkin'Derby.mp3 This guy oughtta be a political spokesman instead. $ Purchase LoneJourney.mp3 Now THIS is truth in broadcasting. $ Purchase MarthaGraham-''MaritalDevotion''.mp3 Another great moment in radio broadcasting - while Mike Wallace gets up to some shenanigans beside the microphone, Martha Graham totally loses it as she tries to read a letter from a woman distraught over - you'll figure it out. $ Purchase Mr.RodgersWithAstronautCharlieWorden.mp3 Make a what? Ahh, he's full of it. $ Purchase NBCNewsDuringASCAPStrike.mp3 Don't worry - everything's under control! Ever notice that whenever you hear that, it's time to worry cuz everything's outta control? Me too - and it's terribly evident here. $ Purchase ParisPieceTalks.mp3 You'd think the French woulda been eager at this point to stay outta Vietnam & let the Yanks have their turn at making fools outta themselves over there. Apparently not during the course of this broadcast. $ Purchase PetFeed&Love.mp3 Please don't ask me to explain. $ Purchase PfizerUdderTone.mp3 It's got a subtle odortone, too. $ Purchase PoodleNighties.mp3 Paul Harvey did his best, but his announcer just couldn't take it. $ Purchase Rockefeller-RasmussenWedding.mp3 When it ain't broke don't fix it ain't no more true than here, as an attempt at a report on rehearsals for this gala wedding goes here, there and everywhere. $ Purchase SuperAnahist.mp3 It's a set-up, I tell ya! $ Purchase TheGoddamLawn.mp3 I once though only a comedy troup like SCTV would dare to imagine such a gaff - but then I heard this, and it was REAL! $ Purchase TruthInReporting.mp3 What it is, brutha! $ Purchase TwinCityWeatherReport.mp3 Maybe one was for Minneapolis and the other for St. Paul - then again, it wouldn'ta made much difference, anyways. $ Purchase VietnamBroadcastInterruptedByPowerShortage.mp3 Musta been a prank played by Charlie. $ Purchase WaitingForKaplow.mp3 A news broadcasting bureau's worst nightmare - the news goes on the air, but the anchor is nowhere to be found, then he is found, then he runs, and runs, all the while broadcasting live. $ Purchase WaterBuffaloAttacksAmericanPatrolVietnam.mp3 And finally, I'll let this broadcast speak for itself. You wouldn't believe me otherwise! $ Purchase Armed Forces Radio Vietnam Bloopers AFVNBlooper-'CapsuleCountdown'.mp3 A noble attempt to play AFVN's "Capsule Countdown" of Top 10 hits without the use of a pre-recorded tape of its entries.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-'How'sYourVDLately'.mp3 An AFVN service announcement entitled "How's Your VD Lately?". Brother, you can't make stuff like this up!* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-BarkedAttackAircraft.mp3 AFVN's attempt to read a news item that I don't think most folks then, let alone a quarter century later, could even begin to figure out. The announcer sure couldn't.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-Channer11.mp3 An attempt to record an AFVN TV Channell 11 sign-off that doesn't go exactly the way the announcer wished.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-ClapSlap.mp3 An AFVN service announcement that asks the immortal question "Do YOU have to hang on to the pipes when YOU pee?". You can't make stuff up like this, either.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-CrossAtTheLocomotiveThingy.mp3 A familiar, casual air in a broadcaster's delivery is one thing - what this announcer comes up with, though, is something more apt from a post '67 Haight-Ashbury refugee than from an AFVN broadcaster.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-DawnBusted.mp3 The AFVN "Dawn Buster" starts off with a bang -- or, really, a crash.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-DejaVueAllOverAgain.mp3 During a disturbing report of North Koreans knocking an American soldier to the ground at P'anmunjóm, what one might wonder to be the North Vietnamese chiming in on the issue occurs, as a mighty crash as loud as anything that came out of Fibber McGee's closet completely disrupts this AFVN news announcer's broadcast.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-Enoughawhat.mp3 Oh, I don't know...so AFVN's sexy siren Chris Noel doesn't know what an Anopheles mosquito is. But then again, when you listen to hear speak, you may find yourself wondering if she knows anything about anything. On the other hand, though, you can be sure that she didn't get hired for what she knew, anyways ; - ) .* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-JoeyBishopOnPatSajak.mp3 Joey Bishop records a promo for Pat Sajak's AFVN radio show (yep, he was on the radio in 'Nam). Joey does it, plays around with it in a suggestive manner that might conceivably annoy Sajak - and then resorts to comparing him to Jack Paar once he realizes Pat is in the room with him. Now that's show biz!* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-JoeyBishop&ALittleGrass.mp3 Following the above, Joey Bishop, having finished doing promos for AFVN, finds out just what's in that cigarette his interviewer is smoking.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-JoeyBishop&ALittleGrass.mp3 Following the above, Joey Bishop, having finished doing promos for AFVN, finds out just what's in that cigarette his interviewer is smoking. You might well wonder what Pat Sajak knew about it.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-OperationStarSearch.mp3 An attempt to record an AFVN advertisement for "Operation Star Search", but they might well have better decided to search for better writing talent first.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-SimulWatt.mp3 Here we go again...AFVN's Chris Noel hasn't heard of the word "simultaneous". But keep in mind - that's not why they hired her - besides, what they really needed was a gal who sounded like she didn't know the word "no", anyways.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-ThereWereThey.mp3 Yes, "There were they". I do sincerely feel sorry for this Chaplain - he's a victim, at the very instant he's delivering this on AFVN, of the very thing he's preaching against.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-TheSoundOfEverything.mp3 You can't conciously create something of this kind; stuff of this quality can only happen spontaneously...AFVN broadcasts Simon & Garfunkel's "Sound of Silence" as the news accidently cuts in on the transmission, making an elegant allegorical accompaniment that runs stunningly parallel to the lyrics.* $ Purchase AFVNBlooper-TruthInReporting.mp3 Naughty boys!* $ Purchase All sound files digitized by and (C) (P) 1995-2001 J. C. Kaelin, Jr., unless othewise noted. * Digitized by J. C. Kaelin, Jr. from source material graciously provided by Vietnam War Veteran and proud recipient of the Order of the Silver Rose Paul Kasper.